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Offline is the new luxury. Probably a cliché phrase by now, but it does feel like this considering the logistics needed to spend 24 hours without my phone in the middle of the week. Before even starting, the question is when is a good time? I work, I have two small kids, a husband, an attempt at some social life, and an array of family and friends living in different parts of the world which whom I communicate with my phone on a daily basis. Deciding when to do it takes as much as logistics as actually doing it.

When I read the assignment I though I had it easy. I had a yoga retreat in the middle of that week. But, as the idea was to be phone free while continuing with my routine, I ended up taking the plunge the day before I was actually going to be able to have the luxury of going internet and phone free for the record amount of 48 hours. So, I tell a few people I won’t be reachable on my phone, and turn it off on Thursday morning at 8.54am. And it does feel good.

The first few hours are uneventful, but as I’m working in my laptop from my home office, it’s not really a big deal (I’m mostly missing WhatsApp). But the real deal start a few hours later, when I venture into the world without phone, and start the second part of the challenge going Internet free.

Few Random Things/Feeling I Experience During These 24 Hours:

+I won’t be able to take pictures

+That morning I decide to put phone out of my sight, cause when I see it there, even if off, I have the reflex to just check something.

+I cannot use the alarm for basic things such as cooking, or add events to my calendar

+Several times during the day I have the urge to send messages to friends.

+FOMO is on the rise

+I miss mindlessly scrolling and checking Instagram stories at lunchtime, or during those waiting times.

+It feels SO weird to be in the street without phone. Monkey mind thinks what if there’s an emergency, what if school bus has a problem. I feel like something is missing. I won’t be able to check work messages on the go.

+I cannot use my meditation app at night

+I really need to check the weather forecast for Friday. Like really need.

+I went to bed earlier than usual, could catch up on sleep better being scree free

+Friday, 8.55am, I turn on the phone and like an addict in withdrawal I’m back to checking on every app.

After the 24 Hour Challenge

Probably a lot of us share the idea of cutting down screen time as a good new year’s resolution. And probably a lot of us keep failing at it. I’ve read so much about this topic, and yet I keep failing (lately I’ve been exploring the approach to immunity to change to see deeper reasons and assumptions that may be working against this and other goals).  

A lot of those readings keep pointing out how the phones are designed to create addiction. Yet, of course, not all people fall into this trap. As I look around, a lot of the people don’t have the same problem as I do have with my phone usage. They have a “healthier” relationship, and don’t struggle with it as an addition.

The trick is to keep trying, and to keep reflecting on how and why we use out phones. I do use it to remove myself from nasty situations (i.e. dreaded kids tantrums, bad bedtimes, boring routines). But I also use it for routine tasks (weather, alarm, photos).

But, when I read about the dangers of distracted parenting, and how our “continuous partial attention” may be harming our children, I’m reminded of how important is to keep trying to reflect on my relationship with my phone. Those 24 hours without the phone felt good overall, helped me to be more present and reduced the distractions.

I still remember when my older son was 4 years old, and was trying to tell me something while I was checking my phone. Even though I assured him I was indeed paying attention to what he said, it did not seem enough for him. He became a little guru at that moment: “Mom, you also need to listen to me with your eyes”.

Introduction

As a part of our Fixing Social Media course, we were asked to go without our phones for a period of 24 hours and record our reflections afterwards. The goal was to have a better understanding of how we relate to our phones and determine whether that relationship could be described as an addiction or in some other terms. I don’t perceive myself as being very glued to my phone, so I was particularly curious how accurate that actually was in terms of how l would react when I would try and fail to use my non-existent phone. Doing so took some preparation and admittedly some perseverance, but I pulled it off successfully in the end (…mostly).

Planning

I wanted to do some upfront planning in hopes that this would go as smoothly as possible, so I started to think through whether there was anything in my day to day life that would obviously be disrupted. Then with those things in mind I could preemptively make alternate arrangements. After that, I hid my phone under my mattress to keep me from getting to it too easily.

I came up with three primary things to address. The first thing also happens to be the first thing I see every morning — the alarm clock app on my phone. This wasn’t too difficult since I quickly realized that I had the exact same app on my iPad. I was able to temporarily substitute one device for the other. Second was my ability to be reached by teammates in the event of an emergency after business hours. Thankfully I was able to choose the day in advance where they would all know to contact me by other means. Third was letting people in my life in general know that I would be unreachable by phone or text. I just made a Facebook post announcing what I would be doing and when. I believe these were comprehensive enough to make my day go reasonably smoothly.

The phoneless day and observations

The day itself was pretty typical for me as far as where I needed to go. I needed to go to campus during the day, run some errands in the evening, grab dinner, then head back to my apartment later at night. The lack of phone actually had little effect on me while I was working during the day. It was during normal business hours when most people who need to reach me are likely to send me an instant message that I’ll see in short order while sitting at my desk. My errands were noticeably affected however. I lacked the usual list that I would keep on my phone telling me everywhere I need to go, things I need to pick up, etc. Unfortunately I didn’t think to write any of that elsewhere beforehand. My errands went mostly well, but unsurprisingly I forgot a couple things that were on the list. It also affected my ability to streamline my dinner pickup. I’ll often make a GrubHub (or equivalent) order for pickup before I run my errands so the food will be ready for me before I arrive. That wasn’t an option in this case, so I changed where I went for dinner to make sure it was something I could still get reasonably quickly.

Aside from the logistical things mentioned above, I observed some other effects as well. Apparently when I’m walking from one place to another, I will often have my phone out reading an article, answering an email, etc. Not having that ability had a twofold effect in that on the one hand I’m paying better attention to my surroundings, but on the flip side things that I would otherwise get out of the way while walking had to wait until I was back at my laptop instead. This resulted in some feelings of being disconnected as well, along with the feeling that I needed to catch up on everything I missed as soon as I was able. Those aren’t feelings I would normally have when my phone is at the ready.

Curiously, there were a few times when I caught myself trying to reach for a ghost phone in my back pocket the same way that a long time cigarette smoker who quit might occasionally reach for a ghost pack of cigarettes. I read that, and some of the above as signs, that I may be more addicted to my phone than I initially realized. 

Conclusion

I have to admit it felt liberating to be free from my phone for a day. It was interesting to learn that phone usage seems to be more woven into the fabric of my day than I may have realized, but also comforting that regardless it wasn’t too difficult to make some adjustments that remove its usage. I have to confess I was only able to make it 22 of the 24 hours needed though. A work-related issue that needed me to be on the phone came up mid evening. Thankfully it was close enough to the end that I was able to get most of the experience needed anyway.

This is my third time doing a technology / media / internet fast, and I learn something new each time. This time, I was surprised by how much more prepared I had to be for events and things that I had during my day. For example, instead of budgeting my time within a 5 minute window, I had to board the T with more like a 15-minute window, in order to ensure that I arrived at my event on time, and based on how I had to base my trip on a rough guess of the transit time.

One new change in my life with regard to technology has been in my use of an app for managing my credit cards. My instinct of pulling out my phone to pay for a meal was replaced with an awkward pause and a revert to my old way. It took so long to pull out my card, it felt like it had sealed itself into the leather of my wallet. Many of my friends go out and about without a wallet, but I’m not that extreme yet – I like most enthusiasts of this technology, am waiting for !00% adoption in the merchants that I would shop from, but then again, so are the merchants with customers like me, in a chicken-egg problem. Under China’s top-down technology philosophy, changes like this could happen practically overnight. But I prefer autonomy, late adoption, and inconsistency over an oppressive philosophy. I would rather just carry my wallet, but will that limit my growth as an early adopter?

Another point that stood out a lot to me is in my solutions to boredom. I look at my phone too many times, and for way too long, throughout the day. I brought a magazine with me to read, but it did not fill the same type of engagement that I was looking for. I’m not entirely sure what that form of engagement actually is, but it involves chasing after the most interesting article, email, or text that I have or can find through a notification. It feels more like I am burying myself in my phone, than actually trying to find something. What am I trying to escape from?

I think I have an idea, because when I looked up from my magazine, I found that others who were on their phones were similarly disengaged with others around them. We share the same physical space, but we do not interact like we are so physically close. In general, I’m not suggesting that we revert to some Draconian policy that restricts mobile data access in public transit in order to make people socialize more, but that it could be useful to reframe the way we think about public space in a way that supports this opportunity for connecting. My main concern is that this social disconnect has more to do with social distaste, instead of the technology that we bury ourselves in in order to escape the discomfort of being present with those around us.

Overall, I really enjoyed this media fast, and learned a lot about myself, and my own attitudes related to neo-Luddite ideas, social discomfort, and the escapism that comes from social media.