Before going to bed, I informed my family and friends that I won’t be easily reachable the next day. I also took out my watch that I hadn’t been using since I received an apple watch for Christmas – figured I would need to know the time as I walk around campus. As I was falling asleep, I thought that keeping my phone charged next to my bed (because I needed an alarm) and starting my No Phone day with a phone next to my head, I was already not off to a great start.
As I woke up, finished my morning routine, placed my phone far up on my shelf, and sat to start working, I got excited for the productive unconnected morning ahead, and succeeded in focusing for a good 3 hour of work.
Towards the end of my session, as my attention levels were dropping, my compulsive reflexes of typing “we.” and “fa.” to access the web.whatsapp.com and facebook.com tabs on my laptop, were much more repeated. The slot machine effect was pronounced when I focused on what I was lacking – I had to fill in the gap. I then felt the urge to reach out to grab my phone from the shelf while keeping it face down and placed it right next to me as I was finishing up my last reading. I was not even questioning these FOMSI urges and still believed I needed my phone next to me, face down – for today my phone was technically just a black rectangular plate. Why did I need to keep it close, if I knew I wasn’t going to pick it up and check notifications?
I left the house for a quick lunch with my friend in Broadsheet, just near my house. As I was waiting for him, I reflected that my most intense urge was not to check notifications, nor was it to listen to podcasts (although I was craving to listen to “Your undivided attention” that I just discovered after reading Tristan Harris’s article) – but it was much more the fact that I wanted to check in with my long-distance relationships. The time I usually spent killing, whether it is while fixing my lunch, or walking to school, I usually call someone from back home. Not having my phone highlighted this attachment addiction, that had been reinforced with the ease of connectivity. I also noticed that I couldn’t satisfy the spontaneous urges of adding a book to my goodreads list (that will most probably stay on this to-read list for a long time), or checking my Hinge likes (that I mindlessly swipe left on, with no exception – but that’s a different story), or just simply… scrolling! I couldn’t scroll, my finger missed the feeling of repeatedly jumping from mail > insta > facebook > twitter > mail > insta > mail > insta, and this felt like a true addiction.
After a pleasant lunch, I went back home to finish a few of my readings before my yoga session at 7pm. Just as I arrived home, I had a mini subdued adrenaline rush when thinking about all the notifications that I will be checking later at night – eerily, I felt excited.
I still had 2 more hours until class, and laziness started to kick in. I was increasingly tempted to reach out to my phone to waste time. Checking whatsapp on my laptop before leaving, I get a message from Jackson on a group chat, asking to have dinner tonight at 8:30 – right after my yoga class. Pleased with the idea, I had to impose location immediately, and rapidly typed “Let’s go to Trina’s Starlight Lounge, @jackson @nicolas @sue @isa are you in?” Forcing them all to check their phone, I waited just 7 minutes (it was already 6:52), got positive replied from Nicolas and Jackson, closed my laptop and left the house – spontaneity was not an option without a phone.