For the past week, I wrote down every day my media consumption, but also my daily mental state (as I always do).
I spoke on the phone and checked compulsively instagram>whatsapp>mail. I also lost my phone and lasted a day without checking my mail. I went into spirals of stalking people in Tech companies on LinkedIn, and binge-listened to a podcast. I also ordered 3 books.
I want to understand what is causing these different patterns of consumption, exposure and compulsion. What I will focus on is the relationship between my mental state as reflected by some daily highlights, and my exposure to media (both deliberate and unintentional).
When I am most susceptible to compulsive behavior? When I most susceptive to procrastination? Are sponsored ads a reflection of my late night googling?
Below is a summary of my media diary this week. The right side shows unintentional media, and the left shows more intentional media (here is a rough gradient from least intentional to most intentional media exposure):
- Shared WhatsApp media
- Media from conferences
- Shared media on Facebook and Instagram
- Sponsored media on Facebook and Instagram
- Watched episodes on Netflix
- Mindlessly spiraling from account to account on instagram
- Searching for LinkedIn profiles
- Searching on Google
- Sharing my media
Each row represents a day, and the red and blue Rhombi (red for high mood, blue for low mood) encapsulate a daily highlight. The dots on both sides of each Rhombus, show the rate of the different unintentional and intentional media exposures.
I discovered that during days that I felt in a bad mental state, I would use google more than on other days (25 min more on average). I searched increasingly for answers when I was feeling dissatisfied. This led to ads on Facebook and Instagram the next day – acting as a reminder and continuously affecting my mood, but on a more unconscious level. I also noticed that when I was in a good mood, I was generally more energetic, and would be more compulsive. I checked my phone much more than on lower energy days. Compulsion came with high energy contrary to what I had assumed (that lower mood causes distraction and thus more compulsive behavior).
The dynamic of intentional and unintentional exposure to media was also affected by my willingness to be sucked in and distracted from my priorities. When I was feeling low in energy, I procrastinated more, and it was easier for me to infinitely scroll. I was also more inclined to click on some of the sponsored ads.